Lately I've been questioning a lot of stuff. I guess that's to be expected, honestly, because who isn't? I used to never talk. I barely talked to people, and I hated being talked to. Then a year or two passed, and now I have a boyfriend, his sister's my best friend, and my phone is never quiet. I suppose I shouldn't complain. But I hate that. They "forget" I go by a different name, a name they've called me for years. I'm still nonbinary. I'm still Omniromantic. My dads been wanting me to be baptised, since I wasn't as a kid. I wonder how long I have to lie. About my sexuality. My name. My religion. Whether or not I love them or not. I'm tired. And I'm so tired of being tired.
Lately I've been thinking. This entire thing sounds entirely stupid, but life really is getting to me. I mean, what am I supposed to do when I get to the age i might get kicked out on? Sure, getting a job is realistic, but I'm already working on doing that, and further input is getting redundant. I've, rather obviously, started coding to widen my skillset, but there's this gut feeling i can't shake. The most ikely feeling is just anxiety, but I hate it either way. This isn't an uncommon problem, I know, and maybe I'm trying to pathologitize everything but somethings wrong. Wow, a teen being dramatic, how new. I hate hate how many times a day I get told to shut up. First world problems and all. I'm typing this on a timelimit, so I'm a bit rushed. I went to bonfire last night, and the way the flames danced across the sky was gorgeous. But today and yesterday is starkly different lmao. Today I just did yard work and coded at the library. Times up. gtg.
